Shades of Gray The Extras
by feebes86
Summary: Outtakes from the story, Shades of Gray


Disclaimer: the characters and all recognizable situations belong to Stephanie Meyer - Last I looked I wasn't her... this story is a work of fan fiction, except or course for the legends and histories of the Quileute Nation that, of course, belong to them.

Scrapbook Outtake

This Outtake occurs between Ch 12 and 13

Bella's POV

I looked at the book I held in my hands. I wasn't sure how he was going to like it, it was supposed to be the thought that counted, right? Regardless, CJ and I had worked hard over the last week so that CJ would have this to give to him. It had been a hard secret to keep. In fact, Sam knew about it and had managed to keep Paul and CJ from being phased at the same time. I thought back to the day it all started.

_He had just gotten the last box off of the moving van and carried it in and placed it in his garage with the others._

"_Oh… Paul, do you have somewhere inside that we can put this one?" I asked my hand was on a big Rubbermaid container._

"_Sure, is it something important?"_

"_Yeah, it's all of CJ's baby pictures. I mean I have them copied to a disc too, but these are the ones that I actually printed out and mailed copies off. They are the 'best of the best'. There should be some videos and other things too. All of the items from the hospital, his crib card and copies of his hand and foot prints. "_

_His eyes shone with interest. "Do you mind if I look? I would really like to see them. Maybe if you have time we could even look at them together."_

"_I would love to look at them with you. Maybe I can even tell you what's going on in some of them."_

_He had carried the container into his living room and we sat on the floor and poured over the pictures together. We watched the DVD's of CJ's trip home from the hospital and his first birthday and other milestones. We sat and talked for hours while I told him what CJ was like as a newborn and a toddler. Paul wanted to know everything about him. He asked questions that covered it all; everything from his first diaper rash to his favorite toy, what he liked to eat, to the theme for his first birthday party._

_Paul had enjoyed learning about CJ so much that when I left his house that night I had felt guilty. Guilty that I hadn't tried to find out who CJ's father was after I found out I was pregnant. Sure, I was drunk and there was a lot about that night that I didn't remember but still, it was a small reservation and Jacob did know everyone. Just the fact that I didn't know who he was would have almost been enough to figure it out. My embarrassment over my behavior that night wasn't a good enough reason to have kept CJ and his dad from knowing each other._

_I thought about my actions throughout the night. I tossed and turned, finally I had an idea. It wouldn't make up for things but maybe it might help. The next morning, after CJ left and I had cleaned what needed to be cleaned in the house, I got started._

So now here we were, it was Sunday evening and we were waiting on Paul and Dad to come in. Sue had planned a huge Father's Day meal and we had spent most of the day in the kitchen cooking. Sue had sent Dad and Paul to pick up a few things at the grocery store, mainly to get them out of the house. They had spent the entire afternoon yelling at the TV screen while they watched NASCAR.

I had purchased a gift for my dad weeks ago; it was a new depth finder that he could take on the boat with Billy when they went fishing. The old one got lost when CJ dropped it in the river.

This gift though, this one was for CJ to give.

"CJ, will you come here for a minute." I called.

He walked to where I stood in the den. "What mom?"

"Here," I said and I handed to book to him.

He opened it and thumbed through a few pages. "It's not done," he exclaimed. "See, all of these pages are blank."

"I left blank pages in the back for a reason CJ."

"Oh… why?"

"I thought that I might be able to take some pictures of you and your dad and we could put them on these pages," I explained.

He looked up at me a smiled, "That's a good idea." He paused and looked at me with a puzzled expression before asking in an excited voice, "Do you think you might could take one of us as a wolf?"

I laughed, "I don't know. We might have to ask your dad or Sam first."

"OK… can I give this to dad now?"

"You can give it to him as soon as he gets back, or if you want, you can wait until after supper."

"I think I want to give it to him now… we can eat after he looks at it."

"He's not here CJ; you will at least have to wait until he gets here."

"He's outside with Grandpa Charlie mom; they are almost to the porch steps." He bounced in place with excitement.

I just shook my head. I should know better than to doubt a wolf that has better hearing than I do.

Sure enough, Paul and Charlie came into the house just seconds later. Charlie turned and walked toward the kitchen while Paul made a bee line for me and CJ.

"Something smells good," Charlie exclaimed.

"Sure does," Paul whispered, as he leaned over nuzzled into my neck. He gave me a quick kiss, right below my ear that sent goose bumps all over my body.

"Hey dad," CJ said he grabbed hold of Paul's arm and started to pull on it.

"Hey little man, whatcha doin?"

"I have something for you, here, sit down," CJ commanded.

"You have something for me?" Paul asked.

"Yeah, it's for Father's Day," he explained. "I made it myself, well momma helped me."

"You… made me… a Father's Day present," Paul clarified.

"Yeah, don't ya want to see it?"

"I would love to see it," Paul said.

I watched as CJ handed Paul the scrapbook and they started to flip through the pages together. Paul listened patiently as CJ tried to explain the pictures that were glued to the pages.

I left them alone to enjoy the scrapbook and went to the kitchen to finish supper with Sue. I set the table and then fixed glasses with ice for the drinks while Sue put everything on the table. I went upstairs to tell Seth and Leah that supper was ready then stopped on the stairs in the living room on my way back to the kitchen.

I stood on the next to the bottom step and watched Paul and CJ for just a minute, their two dark heads were close to each other as they looked over the scrapbook.

"And see… these pages are blank. Mom said she might could take pictures of me and you to put back here. Do you think she can take one of us as a wolf?"

I smiled and waited for Paul's answer.

"Umm… I don't know CJ. It might be hard to explain how we got close enough to take a picture of wolves."

CJ appeared to think about it for a minute. "What if we were on the cliffs and mom stood on the beach? We could run out of the trees, she could take the picture and then we could hide again."

"Yeah, we might be able to do that," Paul said.

"Supper's ready, are you guys hungry?"

"Does a horny man love pus…?" Paul stopped quickly, "ummm… what I meant to say was... does a fat kid love cake?"

"Uh ha… sure you did…" I smirked. "Let's go eat."

After supper that evening, Paul and I sat on the porch swing holding hands while Seth and Leah cleaned the kitchen.

"Thanks, I love my scrapbook."

"I wasn't sure if you would like it or not but I thought it might be the best way to give you pictures and a little history all at the same time."

"I really do like it. You put a lot of work into it."

"CJ really enjoyed helping."

"Yeah, well he couldn't have done it by himself," he continued.

"You're welcome. I was glad to do it." We sat in silence for several minutes.

"Have you…"

"I've been…" we both started to say at the same time.

I looked at him, "You go first."

"You know that I've been thinking about this spirit journey and that I've decided I'm going to do it."

"Yeah, have you decided when?"

"Next week… that gives me all of this week and the weekend to prepare myself and get together all of the things that I'm going to need."

"Alright then, what do I need to do?" I asked.

"Feed me good this week. Lots of protein, by the weekend I won't be able to have anything but fruits, vegetables, baked or broiled chicken or fish and water. I'm going to need protein this week to keep my strength up. Other than that, there's nothing you can do."

I kissed him gently, "I can do that."

He put his arm on the back of the swing and I leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder. When I did, he dropped his hand down to rest on my arm. We sat in silence for a long time swinging before saying goodnight and going to bed.

I dreaded the next couple of weeks. I just knew that they were going to last forever or at the very least it would feel that way.


End file.
